Encroaching death heightens my gratefulness for life and exasperates me as I watch and listen to my fellow bi-peds. Who doesn't waste their life? It's a question of non-thinking existence and personal joy. It's all about ME and my ffeeeelllinnngsssss. Whispered question 25 years too late, "Do you believe in chemtrails?", "Are you sure the forest is dying", "Of course we went to the moon. I saw it on tv. It makes me proud to be an American." Cancel culture ensures only happy talk. Fukishima, urban animals, lead joints in the water pipes, fluoride, unneeded vaccinations and war are not subjects for polite company. They have to think and it doesn't make them feel good. They are in the mental swamp.
What path of life doesn't lead to loneliness? No one is in my fishbowl. Everyone's stupid thinking disqualifies them from my company. I could be considered a whiny pompous jackass, but I don't want a baboon relationship of bickering and diminishment. Get an argument. It seems if I let a toe hold into my psyche, the grips and cutting remarks only get worse. I don't share much of my personal adventures anymore. It tends to go through the gossip mill and bite me on the ass. I'm looking for love in all the right places, finding the wrong people.
I am willing to learn. Tell me something new. Tell me something I could use today. I know it's cold out and to put my mittens on. How about a flattering compliment? I'll give you one, no, two. All you got is to comment on my clothes? Go away. Does anyone have a memory of more than two minutes ago? Never let facts get in the way of a good story, if you can remember the key players and plot.
Sometimes it seems like people don't even see me while in the same room, like I'm shimmering Peter in Fringe, from a parallel universe. They are all about avoidance, everything, at all costs. They have to get back into their brains, my presence is too much. They act scared. It bothers me. I'm not a threat to anyone and I'm insulted. The people of this country have big time Daddy Issues, Oppositional Defiant Disorder. They must say 'black' when I say 'white'. They are beat down with the passive-aggressive tendencies that comes. Again, I'm not the authority, only in their minds am I Daddy authority figure. I'm trying to go through the check out lane like you. Crones are the worst. There are some real man-haters out there. I don't deserve it.
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