1) If an illegal immigrant showed up on my front door step with his wife and 6 children, I'd put them up in my garage and he better say, "Thank you", in English.
2) Democrats = Fake Shootings
3) Some people won't stop being dupes.
4) Psssst ... your problems won't be solved by Washington DC
5) I am going to design a Crest, or bear arms to the banner, and it will have my bare ass in the center surrounded by the words (in Latin) - Cry Me A River, Motherfucker.
6) Have you ever stumbled around in the middle of the night and pissed in the potted plant? Honestly.
7) Do many people know Gavin NooseEm' is Nancy Malignanci's nephew?
8) Chicago Police are being shot at in the parking lot at District, suspect apprehended said he was 'hunting cops'. Check it out. Didn't hear Jimmy Kimmel make a joke about it. John Kass is still taking a dump.
9) "My darling", I said. "We will have a short, volatile relationship, but it will be fun."
10) What did Gregg Allman ever see in Cher?
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