Monday, November 14, 2022

Like A Rug*

 

LIKE A RUG

Quitting drinking is a faceoff with honesty.  You have to win it.  It's sudden death, so to speak.

My winning percentage in the hockey dept.of my life dealing with alcohol isn't good.  I like to think of myself as an honest person all around.  I have focused and improved so much of living around honesty and fairness.  Introspection isn't lost on me. Being dreadfully honest with myself is always a goal.  Alcohol is another matter.  I have lied consistently about the use and abuse, health risks, and general surliness that arises because of the use of alcohol in my daily diet. It is humbling.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 24, 2022
999 Times Before

I found this book in a Little Free Library (https://littlefreelibrary.org/) in the Town Park.  It kick-started a desire of health once again, realizing alcohol is destroying me slowly and my life is built around it.  I am slow suicide at work. Alcohol Lied To Me  by Craig Beck was a good crutch for me to get back into healthy thinking and think hard about thinking, acting and peace of mind.  He reinforced the idea that has worked for me in the past, that is, alcohol is an organic molecule, an addictive toxic substance.  Possibly, my Irish/German genetics or lifelong behavior, either one, my liver processes enough enzyme ACH to breakdown enough Alcohol to kill a horse. And I'll do it again tomorrow.

Psychological examination is the last thing to be addressed, as the alcohol will set to destroy your liver, kidneys, digestive track, lungs and heart, muscle mass and after many years of drinking alcohol your brain is the most damaged.  When it gets that time you are on the downhill slope.  As I am, today.  I knew all this before, but I forgot it for 20 years.

He claims to be a hypnotist and a Super Salesman, so reader beware.  Of course, he is selling video coaching, etc.  If his approach is helping people, good for him.  It's a bad business plan to coach someone to wellness.  Then they don't need you anymore.  If he is successful, he's not making money, as I see it. The vast number of PDA's (Problem Drinkers of America) should keep him busy.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 17, 2022
PDA

If you have been in this seat before with self-help books, the heavy handed list of questions one has to embarrassingly answer to prove to yourself that you are (an) alcoholic (that was 45 yrs ago for me) was trimmed to five, thankfully, and each squarely hit me between the eyes.  I'm an addict like all the other addicts.  I've been stepping on others in order to validate my own addiction.  Hypocritical behavior from a very confused man is my weak defense.  Mr. Beck's personal story seems sincere, I can identify with his life in many ways.  It doesn't drive the book.  Being honest with yourself is the message.

The (an) is important to me because I am alcoholic.  The -ic part is a meant for a descriptive adjective.  When alcoholic is used as noun, an alcoholic, inevitably judgement leading to shame shows up.  The cornerstone of success, for me, is to honestly admit to myself I cannot knowingly put alcohol in my system.  The responsibility is all mine. I believe Mr. Beck would agree.  Life is getting better just in these last few weeks.


His nutritional and supplemental advise for rebuilding I found helpful.  Any part of the initial dry out your body is dehydrated and depleted of needed minerals, fat and hormones. What boring vegetarians don't understand is that the brain needs fat, animal fat, to work properly.  Up the fish oil capsules for brain health.  Add large amounts of Vitamin D.  I have heard this advice from several health experts esp. going into winter.  My personal testimony of two weeks of taking 4 K units a  day I can feel a rage settling difference.  I can't quantify it but I'll keep it up. The book suggests 20 units for 20lbs., ex. 200 pound person would take 4000 units.  Pick up on the magnesium, zinc and calcium.  The damaged brain, nerves and bones need it.  The body is going through changes.  Time to pay attention and give yourself some caring love.

I wish the word "ego" would be agreeably defined for polite conversation.  It's always a red flag to me as it leads to some kind of submission which doesn't work for me, meanwhile, psychopaths run wild in society and are rewarded.  No one checks their "ego".  I need all the energy I can get to quit and I'm not giving my energy to God, Guru or Government.  If I take responsibility, I want credit.  His chapter on this concept didn't ring a bell, but bringing your past/future brackets in perspective and how it serves you we agree on.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 2022
Gossip by Hanson*

One more nice subtle piece of advise resonated with me.  Keep it to yourself.  It truly is a private affair.  "Want a beer", "No, thanks."." What's the matter with you?" "No, thanks" is all you have to say. Everything you say will be used by the Misérables to shame you, drag you crab-like back into the bucket.  Don't give the evidence for your own conviction.  Don't re-live the Glory Days pissing on yourself with others.  We all want to belong and share, but this journey is no one else' business.

I do not intend to use this blog as a  sob story soap opera.  There will be no more personal stories on this subject.  Just know I'm doing well. My wish is that maybe someone can see Wesley's story as I saw Craig Beck's story.  Maybe we can all coach each other back to health.

Thanks, Mr. Beck for your good heart.  Your book was the final bean on the pile.  My best wishes to you and the family.  I intend to place it back into the Little Free Library and your book can help someone else.

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