I Live In The Woods
I live in the woods, too many mosquitoes, I've killed a aplenty. Then I realized I was a mosquitoist... and felt ashamed. I knelt down publicly to show them how heartbroken I was for the past slaughter in the mosquito community. When I got home I discovered a tick had crawled up my pants leg. I gouged it out of skin, bloody and deep... And suddenly realized I was a tickist. Shame, Oh!, Shame, I now have a tick box where I care for and raise baby ticks to be let free in the woods. It feels good.
One day driving to town I inadvertently ran over a box turtle in the road. I tried mouth-to-mouth but to no avail. On top of the recent events, I am now a turtleist and in repentance I stand at the turtle crossing and yell and browbeat oncoming cars about the sanctity of the box turtle. There will never be another turtle death on my watch.
I'm living in a house with two deer heads on the wall. I sure hope they died of heart attacks when the hunters found them. I'm afraid to ask.
It's really great not to see any fisherman on the two big lakes. Fish need other fish to eat. If the old white men remove them fish won't have anything to eat.
It rains a bit here and at times you can hear the grass grow. I have to mow the grass down chasing toads, small snakes and scattering chipmunk nests. I am responsible for creating a Jewish Holocaust like event two times a week
I have so much guilt, I have to drink a lot.
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