Escaped Wage Slave: Micro Ohms*

Sunday, January 3, 2021

Micro Ohms*

Keef, My Man !!!

1) Whenever I hear the word "pandemic", I scream "BULLSHIT!". It charms everyone at the bar and soon watching the news can be quite fun.

2) I refuse to acknowledge anyone in a mask talking to me. It drives them batty, esp. women.

3) I make professional appointments by email and demand neither one of us wears masks and there will no Plexiglas between us. They might have a sheepskin on the wall but they are dumb as cows.

4) Don't be upset about being asked to leave a private business because you won't wear a mask. With that kind of business model, he'll be needing charity soon and you can tell him to fuck off.

5) If someone wants to elbow bump you look them in the eye and say "Fuck you". They will melt into a puddle of tears.

6) Sincerely, laugh out loud in public. From the other end of the bar, it makes me want to laugh.

7) Whenever I do get the attention of a goldfish, er, masker, I make the point that Oxygen kills virus, breathing back your own CO2 and moisture will give you pneumonia. The look in their eyes is either surprise or dull doubt.

8) Pithy responses to Karens always welcome:1) It must be some kind of hypnotist to get people to smother themselves. 2) I'm trying to commit suicide living in a community like this. Leave me alone. 3) I have never worn a mask. I should be dead by now, right?

9) To those small businesses that defy, I pay full price with a tip for the help and a hardy Do-Dah-Dae. Nobody's getting rich these days. I have never set foot in Costco, Target, Walmart and got kicked out of Menards, who shall never get a dime out of me.

10) I tell people to write me a letter. I don't text. Emails work, but once a joke is taken the wrong way, the conversation stops. No social media for me. Holding the radiation machine, my phone, to my head for 25 minutes is going to rot my brain. Write on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, stamp it, and mail it. Haven't received a single post.