THE ANTI-CHRIST DERBY - held every eon at Armageddon Downs. Race is shaping up as a real Apocalypse. Very talented group of evil vying for the Crown.
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1) RAHM EMMANUEL (25-1) - plenty of youth, speed and evil. Riding with distinctive racing silks of a pink ballet tutu, if he keeps the pace could be in the money. Short legs are a problem. Running with stable mate from Beth Shalom/Tree of Life Racing,
1a) BENJAMIN NETANYAHU (8-1) - training well, in condition to run a full race. Older horse with good Satanic bloodlines, may teach RAHM a thing or two about the Slaughter of the Innocents claiming race ritual.
2) HOMO POPE FRANK (80-1) - as windows opened HPF was early morning favorite, betting has since stalled. If he gets to the gate. Vatican Farms has many comers.
UPDATE 051626: The Track Stewards have ruled HOMO POPE FRANK will not be allowed to race, being dead, but also rebutting Vatican Farms demand to have his remains placed under the Bubble in his limo and remain in the race. Late entry fees only accepted for Post Time.
3) DONALD J TRUMP (4-1) - "The Big Horse", capable of going the distance. Grueling current race schedule may wear him down, but once cloned and revived Death, Disease and Destruction would continue post haste. Owned and Trained: Chabad Lubavitch Blue/White silks.
4) FEMININE ENERGY (12-1) - depending on which horse shows up, coupling with a gimmick may be a good bet. A lot depends on the ride you get.
She's a MAN!!!
5) KING CHUCK (7-2) - Has been waiting a lifetime for this race. From the premier racing stables in the world, Buggery Stables, long on breeding and flash, and a generational history of senseless brutal killing, CHUCK may be well slotted here. Cancer hoax planned to up the odds.
6) ROOTIN TOOTIN PUTIN (30-1) Once high stakes horse claimed by Beth Shalom, owner currently unknown. Trains behind an Iron Curtain. Seems cautious. Good longshot bet if a stretch run is in him. Has an army.
He's lurking...
7) KLAUSSCHWAB* (2-1) - Swiss conceived, status to race is in question as to whether a horse grown in a test tube and injected with artificial intelligence is allowed to compete. Has big money backers. WEF Breeding Labs. Current prohibited favorite. Potential steamer. Harari on top.
8) PAT ROBERTSON, JR (45-1) - from the Hagee Stable known for success in county fairs and the bush racing circuit, putting a young stud in for seasoning. May surprise, good show bet.
9) GRUESOME NEWSOME (3-1) - Pelosi bred Getty trained, coming off an impressive demolishment of California, this young demon colt may have the chutzpah. First big race with the heavy hitters may impact performance. Dangerous. Nice mane and tail.
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THE FIELD;
THE STATE - deeply involved in every race, questions concerning crumbling knees
DA JOOZE - once popular bet, doesn't seem all-in
KING JUAN CARLOS - doesn't stand a chance. He's dead.
UPDATE 051626: Herbert W. Armstrong may be correct. Currently under tight training by Buggery Stables, PRINCE WILLIAM is being groomed. Rumors has it KJC is his sire with broodmare Diana, Princess of Whales. The bloodline is in the race upon notification.
RON DESANTIS - young colt shows promise. Needs bigger thirst for human blood.
first posted Wednesday, January 24, 2024
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