TGF and Simp, her dog

The Adventures of 

Tough-Guy Feminist and Simp, her dog

Tough-Guy Feminist (TGF) is in charge of her own life. All around her succumb to her pervasive energies, like the humors of disturbed earth. Life is good to her; she just needs a weekly cry.

Simp, her dog, like all dogs, understands English but would rather not talk. His words are only thoughts.

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TGF: C'mon, Simp, let's get going

Simp: Anything you say. I just want to smell that pussy.

TGF: You know where we are going. Get my shoes. We are going jogging.

Simp: That's fun for a while. OK. You really smell good doing that.

TGF: Have you been in my dirty laundry? What have you been doing? Smelling my undies?

Simp: Well, yeah.

TGF: Simp, you are an animal. But you do protect me and I love you for that. I'm kind of glad a male takes any interest in me, actually.

Simp: Are you leading me on? Because I'm ready! What do you need?

TGF: Maybe, later. That might be a treat.

Simp: I hate the leash. She's always barking at me, " Stay outta the street. Ignore the bitch in this neighborhood" Like I'm some dumb ass that don't know how to cross the street. Her jealousy is too much sometimes.

TGF: Would you tie my shoes. I'm busy making a smoothie.

Simp: Yeah, sure. C'mon let's get going. I gotta pee.

TGF: After the run we are going for a ride to see Soft-Gyrl Feminist (SGF).

Simp: ... not that long car ride with NPR. SGF is a clingy head case. She hates me. Doesn't even offer me water.

TGF: SGF split up with her partner. She's distressed. She doesn't want to change her status on Facebook. We have to talk.

Simp: I'll come along. I promise to be a pain in the ass on the way home.

TGF: You know, SGF likes girls, too, but this last guy was a real jerk.

Simp: I'd like to smell her pussy. She wouldn't let me near it.

TGF: She fell in love with a man and is now suffering. Her last lesbian lover used to hit her during sex. It's become very uncomfortable for her. This guy seemed nice when I met him at PJ's party. I can't imagine why he left so suddenly.

Simp: Is there bad pussy? He's a fool.

TGF: SGF has few means, close to destitute. I may have to offer her a roof and have her move in...

Simp: I'll be living with two pussies?!

TGF: ... but it may get crowded in our studio apt. I may have to pawn you off onto someone or let you loose. If you need a ride to the euthanasia center, I'll do that and take care of the bill.

Simp: What? What do you mean?

TGF: She doesn't like you so much, and frankly, you smell.

Simp:... cutting me loose? Where do I go? Eat at the dump? With the racoons?

TGF: Let's see how it goes.

Part 1

Stay tuned to see if Simp survives SGF's emotional crisis.

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