TGF and Simp, her dog

The Adventures of 

Tough-Guy Feminist and Simp, her dog

Tough-Guy Feminist (TGF) is in charge of her own life. All around her succumb to her pervasive energies, like the humors of disturbed earth. Life is good to her, she just needs a weekly cry.

Simp, her dog, like all dogs, understands English but would rather not talk. His words are only thoughts.

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TGF: C'mon, Simp, let's get going

Simp: Anything you say. I just want to smell that pussy.

TGF: You know where we are going. Get my shoes. We are going jogging.

Simp: That's fun for a while. OK. You really smell good doing that.

TGF: Have you been in my dirty laundry? What have you been doing? Smelling my undies?

Simp: Well, yeah.

TGF: Simp, you are an animal. But you do protect me and I love you for that. I'm kind of glad a male takes any interest in me, actually.

Simp: Are you leading me on? Because I'm ready! What do you need?

TGF: Maybe, later. That might be a treat.

Simp: I hate the leash. She's always barking at me, " Stay outta the street. Ignore the bitch in this neighborhood" Like I'm some dumb ass that don't know how to cross the street. Her jealousy is too much sometimes.

TGF: Would you tie my shoes. I'm busy making a smoothie.

Simp: Yeah, sure. C'mon let's get going. I gotta pee.

TGF: After the run we are going for a ride to see Soft-Gyrl Feminist (SGF).

Simp: ... not that long car ride with NPR. SGF is a clingy head case. She hates me. Doesn't even offer me water.

TGF: SGF split up with her partner. She's distressed. She doesn't want to change her status on Facebook. We have to talk.

Simp: I'll come along. I promise to be a pain in the ass on the way home.

TGF: You know, SGF likes girls, too, but this last guy was a real jerk.

Simp: I'd like to smell her pussy. She wouldn't let me near it.

TGF: She fell in love with a man and is now suffering. Her last lesbian lover used to hit her during sex. It's become very uncomfortable for her. This guy seemed nice when I met him at PJ's party. I can't imagine why he left so suddenly.

Simp: Is there bad pussy? He's a fool.

TGF: SGF has few means, close to destitute. I may have to offer her a roof and have her move in...

Simp: I'll be living with two pussies?!

TGF: ... but it may get crowded in our studio apt. I may have to pawn you off onto someone or let you loose. If you need a ride to the euthanasia center, I'll do that and take care of the bill.

Simp: What? What do you mean?

TGF: She doesn't like you so much, and frankly, you smell.

Simp:... cutting me loose? Where do I go? Eat at the dump? With the racoons?

TGF: Let's see how it goes.

Part 1

Stay tuned to see if Simp survives SGF's emotional crisis.

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