HERE WE BE AT THE 45 DEGREE WISCONSON 2023
1) Spring, summer and fall come in the middle 6 months of the year.
2) Plenty of guns, no one gets shot. The last murder in the area was by ex-bar leasee - an ex-con, crackhead biker shot his long time club friend (they shared a girlfriend managing Detroit) who had taken on the lease from Tiny, the owner who moved to ARkansas. He shot him with a shotgun three times. In 1998, I seem to remember. Some locals still refer to the drinking establishment as The Scene of the Crime.
3) The people return their shopping carts to the store.
4) The lone police officer for the town was laid off in 2001.
5) The Hodag is a mythical creature of the forest. It may be a 130lb squirrel.
6) Cashiers can make correct change with minimal mental expenditure.
7) Some women push cows around. Too many push around cow-like men. Very few tight abdomens. The closest 24hr Fitness is 400 miles away, over the Cheese Mountains with its Ice Cream snow, but taking the ferry over Flowing Butter River is spectacular.
8) A good fish fry with three bean salad and a baked potato can't be beat. Venison chili with spaghetti, Taco Tuesday and a mushroom in your Old Fashioned.
9) It's a no-touch zone. No one dances, couples don't hold hands, little kissing/hugging hello/goodbye. People are as cold as the land. Some refuse to talk to you. Private recluse types are the normal. Fun is Whack-A-Mole. Deep Gossip Creek runs through town.
10) Thunderstorms overhead make one humble.
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11) No parking tickets. Never caught by a train. Taxes went down $12. Fresh water readily available. Air filtered by a National Forest. Don't lock my door. Leave keys in car. A tree may fall on me. Forest fires, induced or not, are inevitable.
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Take me out in the morning DEW, my honey.
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