The Four Agreements*

"A man may destroy everything within himself, love and hate and belief, and even doubt, but as long as he clings to life he cannot destroy fear; the fear, subtle, indestructible, and terrible, that pervades his being; that tinges his thoughts on his lips the struggle of his last breath."

-Joseph Conrad, "The Outpost"

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I recently read "The Four Agreements" by Ruiz. It's a self-help book, no pretense there. It purports to use the Toltec tradition and apply it to modern society. It guarantees some form of happiness and control in your life and I wouldn't doubt that it may. We are taught these concepts as children: Do unto others… If you can't say anything nice… don't make an ASS out of U and ME… A man's word is his bond. As an adult it is nice to be reminded not to throw sand in the sandbox and how malicious gossip is for relationship building. 

As in the movie "Doubt", those filmmakers took on the subject of Uber-mentor Roman Catholic priest with frankness and a challenge to the audience. When the priest was confronted with the accusation of his attentions to a young boy in the parish were more than guidance, he delivered a sermon the next Sunday about opening a feather pillow on the highest roof in town, and then the effort of retrieving every feather. That is what gossip does. Goes out and is unconfined. I'm sure all of us has been a victim of character assassination. It's hard to deal with. 

- One of the Four Agreements, the one I find most profound is "Don't take anything personally." I look back on the positions I put myself in and the over-ego-ed, insecure behavior that was. I see it in other people and how much distress it causes emotionally. It's easy to say "Let It Go", much more difficult to live it. This is the one that has brought me the most challenge and peace. Know that people around you, especially the most loved, will blab out the most mean hurtful stuff. The wicked tongue can't be listened to.

The other three are:

- "Be good to your Word" - Simple, but in the world of spin, white lies, collective conscious agreement on falsehoods, maintaining this concept on a daily basis is another story. This modern, high tech society is finding it harder and harder to separate fantasy from reality from self interest. Showing up on time is a start on the way to respect.

- "Don't ever assume" - It takes an aware person to be able to remove his/herself from their own thought patterns and confront the falsehoods that may appear worth fighting for. The mind, it seems to me, doesn't have a value system and if the rational needs an answer the emotional may respond with an illusion of Truth. "Be true to yourself" was better said by Billy Shakespeare. This concept is intimately tied to living in the moment since moving forward with conviction takes a focused effort and falsehoods, or assumptions, always push back.

-"Always Do Your Best"… an age old canard worthy of repetition. Where the learning process comes in I believe, is the flipside and having compassion for yourself when your "best" isn't always good enough. Going into an endeavor with enthusiasm doesn't guarantee success, now what? Of course, enter into every project giving your best effort, being honest with yourself, will give you peace of mind. Guilt, "I could have done more", has to be handled in the process.

The connections of these Four Agreements are the strength of the argument. Taken one at a time, it's too simple, but when combined together its power of mind reveals itself. Being Good To Your Word and Always Do Your Best sound like a surefire way to run a successful business., especially with Never Taking Anything Personal. "It's just business." Never Assume would sure help in my personal life backed up by My Good Word. Always Doing My Best is a work-in-progress, the glue and foundation that weaves through the fabric. Being honest with oneself seems to be its aura.