Monday Note to Self*

Is there a feeling in your life that you are in control of your life? Does the nagging question, "Why was I born?" ever pop up? Is a cork riding the waves of the ocean an apt metaphor? I'm pondering just how many people get satisfaction from a 40 hourly job. I'm listening now to people with an inflated sense of how much they love their jobs. I see the phony smile and hear the empty words and want to believe that it is true, I wish it to be true, but it seems so desperate. No doubt the security may be comforting, but the spirit is hurting. When have we been given time to develop a mind of our own? When is having one respected? Is there a tipping point where a person knows he will never own his mind and he resents another that does? It's hard to be positive in a negative world. I lost my mind and I'm not sure I ever had it in the first place. When I fought for self respect, I was considered arrogant. When I did what I wanted to do, I was selfish. When I was kind, I was suspected. This system does not foster trust, understanding or relationships. I have created a very small economic system that highlights these qualitites and I will work to maintain it. Decisions are mine and best done with true intentions. I will find my way.