Maybe It Will Keep You Out Of The Camps

The Teabagger Socialist-Free Purity Pledge

I, ________________________________, do solemnly swear to uphold the principles of a socialism-free society and heretofore pledge my word

that I shall strictly adhere to the following:

I will complain about the destruction of 1st Amendment Rights in this

country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 1st Amendment Rights.

I will complain about the destruction of my 2nd Amendment Rights in

this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my

2ndAmendment rights by legally but brazenly brandishing unconcealed

firearms in public.

I will foreswear the time-honored principles of fairness, decency, and

respect by screaming unintelligible platitudes regarding tyranny,

Nazi-ism, and socialism at public town halls.

Also.I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life.

I will abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following:

* Social Security*

Medicare/Medicaid*

State Children's Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP)*

Police, Fire, and Emergency Services*

US Postal Service*

Roads and Highways*

Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA)*

The US Railway System*

Public Subways and Metro Systems*

Public Bus and Lightrail Systems*

Rest Areas on Highways* Sidewalks*

All Government-Funded Local/State Projects (e.g., see Iowa2009federal senateappropriations--http://grassley.senate.gov/issues/upload/Master-Approps-73109.pdf)*

Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower,dishwasher, kitchen sink, outdoor hose!)*

Public and State Universities and Colleges*

Public Primary and Secondary Schools*

Sesame Street*

Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children*

Public Museums*

Libraries*

Public Parks and Beaches*

State and National Parks*

Public Zoos*

Unemployment Insurance*

Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services*

Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From

Local, State or Federal Government (pretty much all of them)*

Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived FromAny Government Grant or* Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them)*

Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA Inventions)*

Use of the Internets, email, and networked computers, as the DoD'sARPANET was the basis for subsequent computer networking*

Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce and Crops That Were Grown With, Fed With,Raised With or That Contain Inputs From Crops Grown With GovernmentSubsidies*

Clothing Made from Crops (e.g. cotton) That Were Grown With or ThatContain Inputs From Government Subsidies*

If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forego my VA benefits and insist on paying for my own medical care

I will not tour socialist government buildings like the Capitol in Washington, D.C.

I pledge to never take myself, my family, or my children on a tour of

the following types of socialist locations, including but not limited to:*

Smithsonian Museums

such as the Air and Space Museum or Museum ofAmerican History*

The socialist Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Monuments*

The government-operated Statue of Liberty*

The Grand Canyon*

The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials*

The government-run socialist-propaganda location known as ArlingtonNational Cemetery*

All other public-funded socialist sites, whether it be in my state

or in Washington, DC

I will urge my Member of Congress and Senators to forego their

government salary and government-provided healthcare.

I will oppose and condemn the government-funded and therefore

socialist military of the United States of America.

I will boycott the products of socialist defense contractors such as

GE, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics,Raytheon,

Humana, FedEx, General Motors, Honeywell, and hundreds of

others that are paid by our socialist government to produce goods for

our socialist army.

I will protest socialist security departments such as the Pentagon,

FBI, CIA, Department of Homeland Security, TSA, Department of Justice

and their socialist employees.

Upon reaching eligible retirement age, I will tear up my socialist

Social Security checks.

Upon reaching age 65, I will forego Medicare and pay for my own

private health insurance until I die.

SWORN ON A BIBLE AND SIGNED THIS DAY OF ____________ IN THE YEAR ______________.

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Signed Printed Name/Town and State