Friday, February 27, 2009

Flaming Out In America

It's happening everywhere:

The above story is not an isolated incident. I deeply relate to the man's pain and understand his motivations. There is no room for jokes. This is incredibly sad.

I can tell you, the mind unravels fast. For years you are the cheerful worker bee, proud of your efforts, being a part of a team. Then a seed begins to grow about how deeply unhappy this state of voluntary wage slavery is. How many little slights of tongue directed your way, ignored at first, but brought back with ferocity by a personality you just put up with everyday. You've done your best to give him or her their space, try to avoid perhaps, certainly ignore, but some people get a kick out seeing your button pushed. It's a perverse joy of the workmates.

"He just went crazy" they say, like this happens without their involvement. Miserable home lives lead to miserable work places and vice versa. The daily grind of the 5 day work week never gives enough time to sit and talk with your spouse. It's all work when you get home -storm windows, cut the grass, paint the living room - then back to workplace for some more hurry up, what took you so long. There is no escape as you turn the new yearly calendar plotting the 2 weeks management may approve in December.

Work is tormentable hell when you don't respect the people you see everyday. When their attitudes are money-grubbing self centered and mean spirited, and they are the Boss' pets, everyday is cruel. Trying to add creativity or a better idea is only returned with an acknowledgement of how unnecessary and replaceable you are, everyday being reminded you are overpaid, reminding you that you are stealing "their" time, being watched by secret cameras, being ignored by managers is as bad as too much instruction, finding fault with the mundane, day in day out will make you explode.

I can sense this story will be comic grist around the lunch table at work sites all over the country, as the insecure defensiveness of workers' particular 'paradise' of wage slavery kicks in. To be a long term employee anywhere, dis-compassion and an ego driven chauvinism is almost mandatory. Having empathy is not a sterling quality in the corporate setting. A subordinate must be as big or bigger an asshole than the boss in order to gain attention and recognition. Every team needs a scapegoat mascot to make fun of and heap their venom.

I'm sure this man was a nice guy. I would have enjoyed working with him. What a shame.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

I'm Debbie Downer

Everything's Amazing, Nobody's Happy:

Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
- Horace Walpole

WorkPigs-I told you so;

It's all falling apart and I'm doing my best to keep it together. Can't stop the incoming comet or the floating continental shelf. Can't stop the police brutality coming closer to my doorstep everyday. Can't stop the homeless from being hungry. Can't stop the toxic chemicals leeching into my bloodstream.

Keeping an optimistic attitude borders on delusion or arrogance, I'm not sure which one applies. How can the world and people continue in a fashion of disregard, spoiling their own immediate area? Is negativity beyond the tipping point and, today, I'm sensitive to the pain that is around me. I found it hard to lift my head today and will move forward not expecting the best. I want to see the flowers, stop and smell them, only I feel as if I'll be trampled by the hordes. I'm expected to accept so much suffering including my own.

I'm not going to live long enough to see the monumental changes happening to this earth and the effect it will have on the survivors. I may see the transition of the clamp down and ensuing madness beforehand. With any luck I will accept my fate readily and not act like my fellow man deserves the punishment.

This is a dark morning. I don't feel well. Always, too much bad news. Life has it's moments good and bad. I have make a special effort today to regain my emotional balance, work through it and not pass the stress onto my loved ones. I'm glad I'm alive and enjoy everyday on this rock; it's just some days are better than others.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Work Pigs

Science and the better worker bee:

"Can't we all just get a-long?",0,4203830.story

Work Pig: Anyone engaged in the act of employable service for more than 32 hours a week.

In my new-found enlightened Buddhist nature, it is not kosher to name call and use unstructured speech, hurtful language. So, I'm going off the karma record.

With the current economy announced at 7% unemployment rate, I assume that means 93% are gainfully employed (disregarding the perceived walking dead like this escaped wage slave and others that don't want to debase themselves in the job market). Over 90% working and 7% looking, hmmmm. Doesn't that seem like the mouse chasing the elephant?

On top of it, those that are working are spinning their wheels furiously, being productive as hell, motivated by fear and the management class so they won't have to join the wretched unidentified unemployed, "workers". On payday, they puff up their chests and act proud and glorious only to begin another two week cycle of dread and worry. The Boss is always watching.

I recently heard a social worker whose company served overworked, overstressed executives with psychoanalysis in order to allow these workers (yes, they are just workers) to perform their duties. They have to be taught to have a home life with a wife and kids otherwise they would ignore them for the sake of the company. When I asked her later why a company would create such personal situation for its workforce only to hire her to attempt to solve the problem, she didn't get my question. She didn't want to drop her bread buttered side down.

The only catbird seat I can see in this system is being an employer or being self-employed. I can't grovel anymore, 30 years is enough. I can't enter another work site again full of promise only to meet an existing workforce of miserable personalities. I can't devote 10 hours of my day, selling myself like a whore, so some person in management gets the credit. No more will I be reminded how overpaid and replaceable I am. I'll survive with my knowledge and skills and I'll set the terms.

Those clamouring, cajoling, begging, crying for a wage slave position would be better off organized and demanding the work of those Work Pigs hogging the labor hours. You know who they are - the workaholic brother-in-law, the tradesman working Saturday for time and a half while his local is 20% out of work, the people who "love their job" but only out of fear - and take back from the management class what is rightfully theirs, after all, nobody misses management when they go on vacation. When you were laid off, you were missed because your former coworkers had to pick up the slack. It's time for them to demand more help and to learn to enjoy their loved ones and precious personal time more.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

The Forgiven

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I got caught up in a personal emotional whirlwind and it cost me.

Lashing out and blaming the closest people to me, I eventually found myself very alone. At that time, taking stock over my life was the most difficult thing to date, but I have survived and rebuilt a new internal foundation. I say that with humility.

It seems you have to like yourself in order to be liked. You have to love yourself in order to be loved. You have to have compassion for yourself in order to have compassion for others.

So many bars are to be met, expectations exceeded, things to be had. If we reach a small amount we are lucky, but the pain of loss grows with each day. It's never good enough, always hurtful, deeply insufficient. Our souls suffer and claim to deserve so much more. But like Josey Wales said to Little Bill, "Deserving ain't got nothing to do with it."

Admitting emotional illness isn't considered responsible in this society. One is supposed to take care of mental afflictions quietly so your family isn't embarrassed. Pharmaceutical drugs are gotten easily or a tavern may adopt you as long as the money runs out. To look another in the eye and admit your shortcomings of behavior and speech, state the reasons of an unbalanced mind and take a course of action to rectify, purify, anything but stir-fry, your brain may meet an astonished look of dismay. I find solace in those that truly understand and wish me well.

I want to help others in emotional distress. I certainly can see the signs and I do feel their pain because as a human being, I am in pain also. The path of meditation and mindfulness of speech is what is working for me and it may not be for everybody. Facing up to oneself honestly is the first step. After that all I can do is help balance for the rest of the walk.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Finding Answers

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This explains a lot of my breakdown and why I can't wait for the garden to start:

Friday, February 20, 2009

Said Better Than I Could Say It

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The following was written by comedian George Carlin shortly after his wife passed away. (Carlin died shortly thereafter, in July, 2008)

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often . We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones because they are not going to be around forever, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Emotional Awareness

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This means you:

Schools can be hell:

BOOK REVIEW: Emotional Awareness - A Conversation between The Dalai Lama and Paul Ekman, Ph.D
Overcoming the obstacles to psychological balance and compassion Times Books, 2008

I got to give it to Mr. Lama, he draws me in with each and every book I read. Here, along with Dr. Ekman, together they flesh out emotion response and against the backdrop of their fields of study, agree more study is needed in the mind and laboratory.

Dr. Ekman is the foremost authority of facial reaction in emotional response. His detailed studies across cultures have proven recognition on the face is the same the world over. In 2000, he was the skeptical professor invited to the Life and Mind conference, a yearly event bringing together Western scientists and Buddhist monks. He left that seminar profoundly changed after he and his daughter met the Dalai Lama, a story at the end of the book I felt well worth reading.

Compassion is the theme. Where does it come from, how to measure it, the need to have it for all sentient beings in order to have happiness. One idea the Dalai Lama touched on and wrote a complete book about (and I plan on getting next) is the affliction of the mind the "us vs them" view that permeates our thoughts. Because of one small difference, against a vast likeness, people are mean, fight and, sometimes, kill. I can only look back and think how much time and energy I wasted on this concept. To be open in heart and mind leads to wisdom, to be closed and narrow minded and cold is misery.

At some point in ones' life, a day has to come when that person decides anger isn't worth it. Any of its' components are afflictive on the mind. Any of the results should be avoided. To keep and find peace means a difficult way of life such as the world seems to be filled with mean language, violent images and personal conflict. People in this stressed out economic condition are lashing out, are possibly rightfully angry. Being present and using your personal inner peace to calm these conditions takes a concentrated skill. It's too easy to react and join the rage. My life is a blueprint of this.

I applaud Dr Ekman for his edited discussion with the Dalai Lama. He treats the subject of humanity and the study of emotion with respect. As a Western scientist, he continually strives for more empirical evidence through testing and has developed a curriculum used around the world for personal development. I wish him good health to continue, as he seems a sincere man. The Dalai Lama continues to intrigue me with each encounter I find him. He does seem to radiate through these pages, his words strike me deep in a positive life force way. He compels me to continue to study, and that is the sign of a Great Teacher.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Careful What You Wish For


Catch them early:

The AFL-CIO is once again, faithfully, believing the legislators are going to do their jobs for them in organizing the working class. This flawed vision has no end but failure, but back they go because this time will be different they assure us. The bill in Congress will allow an unorganized workplace to simply sign cards until a majority is reached and then the G will allow a union to form. This is very Canadian.

Oh! they are rallying and speechifying and promising golden days ahead, as if the new Democratic President is even going to do it. This will open the door to huge waves of people joining us, they imply. Hasn't any of these great minds in Labor figured out that a great many workers in this country don't want anything to do with the organizations they represent? They don't read the news and understand what is happening in California and the Health Workers Union? They know the AFL-CIO doesn't fight, it complies. Andy Stern doesn't want the field hands, he wants the house slaves.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not from the right-to-work society. I'm a union man for 30 years, a member of three currently. I know it's better to have a milquetoast union than no union at all. It is not better to be represented by a corrupt union, in fact, it's worse. It makes you ashamed of being a working person, being used by another force along with the employer. These same employers will bribe, entice and set up for conviction a union representative then tell the workers their union is corrupt and get rid of it. And you know what... they will.

Popular culture doesn't have a kind word about organized labor and that is labor's fault. They refuse to create a media press and rely on corporate news. Individuals in unionized sites see their closest partners working on their behalf, the stewards, as fools, inept and useless, using gossip and backbiting to enhance their stature in the company on the advocate's back. Any gains made through the years under the contract are considered their right and expected. The arrogance of many current union members is incredibly deep. But they do as they are told, that is a constant.

Decertification campaigns are going to be the results, if by some chance the Democrats don't back off their promise of passing this law. Shockingly to the AFL-CIO, I predict it will be a wash, as many will join as decide to leave their dinosaur operation. What holds so many unionized workers to their organizations isn't high-falutin' principles but the fact their pension plan is being held hostage. If you leave, refuse to pay the dues, you may lose it. Well, they haven't done a great job watching it and taking care of it, have they? Created their own bank during the last fifty years to protect it? and invest in our own labor? Naa, the bankers give us a good deal. When they go down the toilet along with everyone elses', the workingman will be free to work based on ideals, dignity and respect and not strictly on a money based value system.

The diaspora will re-organize along these lines because we always do. A combine of interests is valuable, it will be late to learn. Perhaps, they will plow back in and try to reform, not without results. These coming years, with uncertainty aplenty, will galvanize some minds to action, some destructive to the labor movement internally. They fought NAFTA hard and the night of the vote Lane Kirkland sat next to Clinton without a dagger. Working people who are paying attention do not need more bluster from these suits. They need a new economic system attending to their needs of housing, health, security. The International Vice Presidents have done as poor a job handling these desires as Wall Street has done with monetary policy. Blame is deserved and anger is just under the surface. Politicians won't stifle it.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Nurses Needed

Worth a view:


Nuclear subs collide. Economic global collapse. Genocides. Mercury in our soft drinks, dental fillings and inoculations. Immigrants in the Army to gain citizenship, but not right away, of course. Tidal wave of sludge through Tennessee. Health care based on profit.

Everyday the headlines get worse. It's a no-wonder why some drop out in a stress induced puddle of pain. The flow of information never recedes and is always readily available. What kind of person doesn't see the pictures of war torn bodies of children have empathy and connection? What is this condition doing to our collective emotions? Can we face up and understand what this is doing to our society?

"Turn off the television. Don't listen to the car radio and, most of all, stay off the Internet." That's what I hear from a small voice in the back of my head. But I also know the cost of ignoring the suffering of individuals in your sight. It makes me less human. It makes me hard and rude. I don't like them around me and I don't like myself. Only by bonding, attempting to help, with an effort to relieve in some small way can I look in the mirror. Staying away from bad news is a temporary place, the world is a sick and I live here.

It takes an enormous amount of emotional intelligence not to collapse from the weight of negativity that surrounds us. Focusing on misery without a technique of getting out of it will hurt you badly. As a nurse may know, to engage a patient with kind, compassionate treatment and stay solid within when death comes is not a normal response, but learned. We have to be particular where we care deeply. Every instance of injustice outside of our immediate world has to be acknowledged and felt and at the same time processed in our minds in such a way to provide correct action in speech and action in order to call attention with insight. It must be done to engage another to help since the problem is always much larger than a single person can achieve a solution. Self-centered emotional pain is self defeating, unhealthy ego based and will hurt you.

Let's look forward and realize that we have plenty more than some and we better be willing to share with an open heart. The "us vs them" trick played on us is over and has led to much of this world situation, boiling right down to our personal relationships. It's time for each of us to be an emotional health professional treating everyone in our day with kind, compassionate treatment. The results may not be what we wish, but we'll be better inside for the next patient.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Fifth Amendment to a Better Life


Just can't stop:

BOOK REVIEW: you have the right to remain silent BRINGING MEDITATION TO LIFE
- by Rick Lewis HOHM Press, 2002

Mr Lewis sure draws you in with an ease of delivery to the message, only to enforce the seriousness of the need for disciplined practice. I kinda dug it.

Like so much of talk regarding meditation, analogies are often used in discourse to bring to understanding. He doesn't beat it up too bad, but one I've been dwelling on and using in conversation is the comparison of the mind to a Hall of Mirrors. Once lost, only images of yourself reinforce the absolute sureness of your path. Well, as anyone who has been in this situation, lost is lost. Mr Lewis states that a way to get out of the maze is upon entering put your hand upon the wall, never lose connection, and follow it to the opposite exit door. While it may appear you are in a dead end, moving forward will get you to your goal regardless of the distractions. This seemed to ring true with me.

He slipped into a dogmatic need to sit up straight, be sort of uncomfortable to focus attention, the importance of finding a teacher which I bring up because my own practice has been getting a bit lazy. As any fat horse in the pasture, I don't take to the whip so readily. I'd rather like to think the teacher will find me. Since reading this I do sit with more conviction of purpose and for that effort Mr Lewis should be applauded. I do recommend this book for its modernist approach, easy read and insightful, compassionate, well thought out passages.

Friday, February 13, 2009

In Awe of Pigs

Article of the Day:

Senior Discount:

When your boss takes a three week vacation, does anyone replace him or her? When you call in sick for a day, do you receive an attitude from management? Isn't it obvious who is more important to the operation? Middle managers - Big Hat, No Cattle.

Every 52 years according to Biblical standard was a Jubilee year. Rich families would give all their wealth away and the economy would go back to an equal footing. The Native Americans on the Northwest coast of North America would hold potlatch, calling all tribes to come and take any possessions of the host. It was a sign of great humility and love for fellow man.

The reasons for not eating pork from Middle East culture isn't based so much on health reasons, chickens are just as dangerous. Pigs don't have sweat glands and use 10 times as much water as a man. In a desert culture if you owned a swine your were considered a pig of the community using too much shared water for your individual needs. The economy deemed that no one person deserved too much at the cost of others.

I don't go to any sporting event whose players get paid more than me. My ticket price goes towards the star pitchers' first step on the field and I find that absurd. Never mind the fact that some people get paid multi-million dollars in salary, how can they morally even demand it? How can they take more than they will ever use? Ego is a monster, obviously, and I'm not here on this rock to feed it.

How did it get turned around to, "We shall always have the rich."

Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Crazies Are Coming

Articles of the Day:

The more I identify myself as a 'people person' the more outcast I become in the workings of this society. The managerial class, those including politicians, base their values and actions on numbers, undoubtedly preceded by a dollar sign. To give a homeless person a quarter is considered wasted revenue in that mindset.

Recently, it was announced that four mental health clinics were to be closed in the city with the laying off of 54 professionals dealing with patients. It's a money decision, no more no less, in the mind of the budget director. That action severely affects the minds of many of our most helpless citizens unable to readily deal with drastic change in their routine. Making them leave the safety of their community to cross town for treatment might as well be considered denying them treatment. And where will they go? To self medication or nowhere, wasting away, spinning down into depression and suicide. The community will not be safer because of it.

So they marched on the mayors' office... as the elevator doors opened ten more of THOSE people appeared, not only confused by the surroundings but angry as well. Each and every elevator brought another load of humanity and not the rich and famous. And they chanted and hollered and threatened to vote him out of office, ironically enough. I was suspicious of the motivations of some of these political wannabe candidates speaking - were they using these people for an instance to bash the mayor? I want to believe someone in the system cares and that a political and money solution is possible, but the problem is much deeper than that. Capitalism doesn't value humanity in any of its' forms, especially the mentally ill. We need a system that takes care of the bottom up first and the bankers last.

Oh yes... the elevator doors will be opening in your life as well. Somewhere, sometime today you will see someone on the street that hasn't been in treatment for some time. Will you avert your eyes and pretend he or she is part of the backdrop? Puff up your chest in a pique of chauvinistic normalcy and construe a blaming scenario to get through the moment? How 'bout throwing the person a quarter and a kind word?

Google video:

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Thinking About Thinking

Article of the Day:,0,2562641.story

Our undisciplined minds can easily lead us astray. The fact one has accumulated a memory can be used against you. Many associations are simply flat-out wrong and can lead to dire consequences. Because something happened many years ago does not necessarily mean it will happen the same way now. One moment is connected to the next, but disconnected across the space of time. Sometimes, the mind doesn't see it that way.

I've been meditating daily and filtering my mind for almost a year now. My mental state has vastly improved. My seething anger level is quieted. I can even squeeze out a bit of hope now and then. I have a terrific mind, generating constantly thoughts of action. Intelligence I was blessed with and I say that with humility. What I didn't pay attention to until this year was harnessing, controlling by slowing down the thinking process as a means to improve it.

Meditation has become the jockey in my thoroughbred mind and for me I believe I will cash a lot of karmic tickets at the window. I threw the jockey off last spring and let the horse run wild and it cost me. It ran until exhaustion, damaging everything in its' path. After a time in the pasture, it's time to get back to the track and listen to the hands of the rider, striding through to the finish line.

I wish my fellow workers, friends and family to learn from my life's undisciplined behavior and see how important it is to think clearly on a moment to moment basis. Our minds are easily hijacked by the latest desire, deluded by an attachment or angered by a slight. It's incredibly difficult to be on top of each instance. We must prepare ourselves to receive so we can answer appropriately. As I transform, in my daily interactions I want to the world to transform through patience and compassion in mind, body and thought through action beneficial to all.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Can You Be His Friend?

Article of the Day:

Leon Berger - "The Grand Tinkerer of the Age of Reason"

This the story of a man making a better mouse trap, or possibly, rat trap would apply even better. A man who saw improvement in an everyday appliance could help liberate society.

The Olde Rusty Razor just wasn't getting the job done well enough in late 18th century France. A dull blade and a worn and frazzled channel after ten years of use could do an uncompleted job, and when the action is chopping off a head, that is not acceptable in Revolution management. The decent thing in class war is a clean cut.

After the Republic was established and the Patent Office opened, drawings were presented for approval for manufacture. Helping gravity do the job more efficiently, the guillotine now called for ball bearing glides, grease fittings, self sharpening blades, and block and tackle lifting design for ease. Leon Berger had a better idea.

As the call goes out to reestablish French Revolutionary justice, let's not forget the man who saw an oppurtunity to speed up the line. Let's give him his due.

Are there more friends of Leon Berger out there?

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Say What?

Tip Your Waitress:

"Escape is the primal American instinct, escape from the demands of community. Americans are not afraid of hard work; they sometimes destroy themselves by working beyond human limits. But they are afraid of social work, of the task of building together the common values that make it possible for people to share the same space. Never has a society that exalted the single individual so much valued the collective efforts of many individuals so little." - author unknown

“Our complex global economy is built upon millions of small, private acts of psychological surrender, the willingness of people to acquiesce in playing their assigned parts as cogs in the great social machine that encompasses all other machines. They must shape themselves to the prefabricated identities that make efficient coordination possible… that capacity for self-enslavement must be broken.” Theodore Roszak

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Stimulate Me

News of the Day:
If I take 800 Billion dollars and divide that number by 200 million adults in this country, it seems to me each one would receive 4000 dollars. I've read each displaced victim of Katrina could have been given a million dollars for all they raised and wasted. What did the laudromat of Wall Street do with the first 750 Billion? The Fed creates it out of thin air, afterall.

I don't understand why we have to work for the money. Why not just give it to us? We'll decide when, where, how and why we work if we do at all. Is the point of "creating jobs" really an effort to create more misery? What kind of jobs? 40 hour a week drudgery? Don't do me any favors.

BTW, how is it the Secretary of the Treasury cheated the IRS out of taxes and still takes his seat? Why is the Department of Defence (or honestly, War) continuing the blood massacres, in fact, inflating other hostilities? The Surgeon General is a dupe of Big Pharma and doesn't like single-payer health care.

I don't need this kind of change.

A lot of my mental afflictions come from fighting absurdity. The stress resulting from these confrontations settles in my mind and doesn't get resolved and probably never will. I fight along side, and find comfort, in others that see the world through these lens'. There is a set of circumstances outside of our bodies that must be dealt with, ignoring them only has them show up on your doorstep. Admitting there is only so much one can do helps focus on the one small thing to be done gets done better. Perhaps, if we did all see our own particular talents applied together we could stop the madness.

I could be herding cats on LSD, for that matter.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Barrel of Monkeys

Articles of the Day:,0,4661632.photogallery

Does slipping on a banana peel and falling on your head still get a laugh? Exactly what kind of person does the laughing? Someone you love? Are you laughing together?

I'm wondering about the perverse joy some people get watching as someone else, for a moment, looses control of their bodies, emotions or body in public. A entire entertainment industry is built around spin offs of American Home Video type shows. Every Hollywood movie seems to have a scene of the male lead getting hit in the balls. We wait on the edge of chairs for Britney to break down again, so we can get tons of amusement and reinforce to each other just how well we have it together.

What a bunch of bullshiters we are.

How can a person sit at his computer terminal in Arizona, control a drone through satellite, and bomb innocent people half war around the world? Go home and have dinner with the wife and kids, just another day at the office. He didn't kill, the robot did. This society promotes seperating yourself completely, emotions especially, from all other human beings, at the same time pushing Family First ideology. Our minds have collectively been compartmentalized starting from youth education. Prejudices are strengthened by language as we get older.

This sick strain in our psyche is not innate and can be abolished, and returning our minds to its natural compassionate state takes self work and recognition of it is painful. It threatens the State and its' junior partner, Organized Religion. Breaking free of conditioned responses with disciplined expanded consciousness has never been readily understood and has often been punished most brutally by the powers that be.

I see this as my path. I've battled the structures and the people in them. I can't change others minds, only my own. More forgiveness and compassion has made me a happier person. I will continue as best I can to live a more humane life.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Don't Kid Yourself, We Are Responsible

Article of the Day:,0,5168386.story

Click on the above story. Read the horrifying events. Notice how the text is slanted to blame the boy, deflect any responsibility from the system. A 10 year old boy is at fault for his own death. And they have the audacity to say how unusual this is.

We'll never get enough of blaming the victim of this sick, pychotic society. As long as we are promised a small slice of the riches and comfort, it seems defending all its' evils is necessary to survive. I can't go to a baseball game without a F16 screaming overhead as I sit during the playing of the War Song national anthem. A kid can't go to school, he can't take it. I get it.

This not the greatest country in the world. This is not the best economic system in the world. You don't have to be a part of organized religion because "it's better than nothing", it's not. You don't have to cross picket lines to get a job. We don't have to feed the karma wheel, fighting anger with anger - we can stop it. Parents can stop fueling the war machine with their sons and daughters, creating "careers" of killing. We cannot debase ourselves for a dollar.

And children don't miss a thing.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Sure, I'm Normal

Quote of the Day: "When the politics of lying becomes normal, paranoia and alienation become the "normality" of the day." R.A.W. Cosmic Trigger

I'd like discussion to back off the terms "positive" or "negative" when discussing human emotions or events. A more descriptive form may be "constructive" or "destructive", recognizing that all feelings, motivtions and deceits exist, how one reacts internally is more important than repressing such de-humanizing traits. It's a longer plan of massaging the pain away because hitting it with a 2x4 only aggravates it.

So much lying swirling around our heads... the television is a constant source of escapism and desensitizing plotlines. Even when dealing with serious matters the talking robots deliver false facts, false hope, and intentional disinformation - it's just their jobs. The wall of fact and fiction has broken down to such a degree that people won't make disdinctions because the fantasy world holds such sweet fruits, the fact of constant pain is all too much. All dreams end and when they do wake up mental and emotional breakdown occurs.

The ignorant will never realize how ignorant they are. Do many you know admit to their own ignorance? How many actually act on it concretely? We lie to ourselves constantly, myself included here, and possibly in some degree if we didn't we'd all go mad.

The system we are in endlessly promotes changing appearence, as if you are not beautiful already. It constantlly reminds us how defecient we are, how we smell terribly and filled with Original Sin, animals in clothes. Do you belive that?

I prefer to see myself as an honest and loving person. I went through life thinking that would always show and be self-evident. I now know what an incredible effort it is to approach such a state. When I do face up and look at my shortcomings, realizing the pain I have caused by insensivities and rudeness, I do have regret. I can't let it drag me down. It's time to rebuild my life with integrity and depth. Materialism, beyond immediate needs, doesn't have its' hooks in me. I will dwell on our more spiritual nature, without apology, and have extreme compassion on those walking in sleep-state.

I have to go to this place, the hamster wheel of capitalism has me exhausted.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Heaven In China, Hell In Your Head

Articles of the Day:

This sure is going to be an interesting year. The only people collecting a paycheck are those running programs on how to get a job. A ton of advice on how to "sell" yourself. I don't want to be sold, I'm an escaped wage slave. Plenty of 'woe is me' out there and I'm finding more people at the yoga studio because their antidepressant medical coverage ran out. If a church doesn't have a weekend soup kitchen, it's not a place of worship but a business pulling the old con of delayed reward.

What I can tell people is do all you can, work at it in a conscious way, to improve your mental health. I know a job and money is important - I've worked hard for a long time and not in the best financial place either - don't let the bastards grind you down. Be kind to all people, probably not a single person you see or interact with is your enemy. Those that are causing trouble economically ride in tinted window limosines, park below ground, go up to their offices in private elevators, make decisions ruining your life and return to their gated community in the early evening. It's important in your private thoughts to understand who the enemy is and direct those thoughts accordingly.

Those people that are rude or insensitive in your daily life need understanding, forgiveness, training and time. Stress is passed from person to closest person, it seems. The emotionally intelligent don't react like a reptile. Their reaction is different than just passing stress on. It either contains it, rearranges it, or stops it in it's ugly tracks. It doesn't pay to validate anger of another or hate along side another with a common enemy. We are here together on this rock to improve each others' lives with a nice word, thought or deed. It takes work not to be a sponge or mirror of destructive behavior, but looking closely I see more and more examples to find inspiration. If you have a job, don't make the torment worse.

Seek and find inner peace.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Safe Harbor

Article of the day:

Don't be afraid.
The fact you are cracking up is only temperory.
There is still plenty to do .
You won't starve.

Don't live in regret.
Life is a long learning curve.
Be sensitive to the changes and
Read the winds.

You have friends.
We are all in the same boat.
Protection is in each other.

Spring is coming.
Love isn't far away.
Attitude is important.
Peace can be found.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Pissing In The Tent


The hundred of thousands of working people Corporate America is dumping on the US Government to deal with could be the largest collection of grovelling, disaffected ass kissers assembled in history. Or, a people's movement of freedom, say, freedom from mind numbing, bone crushing, spirit depleting toil the common man is led to believe he or she needs to survive starts to thrive.

LBJ might have said, "I'd rather have him pissing out of my tent than pissing into it." about some such perceived enemy of his. Employers are not going to have a future when they open the doors and welcome back hardworking, compliant, supplicant wage slaves. A consciousnes has opened for all the 10, 20, 30 year dedicated toilers now on the street. As far as government, they are going to get demands of money without work. Money for breathing polluted American air. Money for walking on United States soil. Money just because they demand it. Bankers get it, with a subtle threat. People will learn to threaten, too.

There is a certain shock when the concept of rejection sets in and the routine followed for too long is terminated. When one wakes up and lays in bed, just thinking, not being pushed out the door by the alarm clock. It is a powerful moment when one realizes breakfast is best enjoyed slowly and a newpaper article is read in its entirity. When a long meaningful conversation with your neighbor, first in 10 years, happens. And one finds "having too much time on your hands" is an impossibility.

We sell our time too cheap. It's ours now and the value has just gone up.